Foster Adoption Is a Harder Road Than I Thought...

Just sharing some of my thoughts and feelings on our Foster Adoption experience so far.....

Adoption has been on our hearts for years. Don't get me wrong, I am content having just one child.  I love being a mom!  I love having a daughter.  I am so thankful for our blessing.  I savor our days.  I know that I am doing what God has called me to do.
There is something else God has called our family to do and that is adoption.  We all three knew it and it was time to act on it.  So on January 2012 Chad and I went to our first meeting about it here in Washoe County, NV.  The next step was the 27 hours of training.  Here in Washoe County they were held on Tuesday and Thursday evenings over the course of, I think 5 weeks.  We were told there was no alternative option.  Well, this was a problem for us.  As we were fairly new to Reno, there was no one we felt comfortable leaving Rose with twice a week for 5 weeks.  It was a deal breaker for us at that time.  Then our recruiter told us that we could do our training with the state foster care system instead of the county.  The state did theirs in a two weekend period.  Ah yes, that would work.  So in March, my mom flew in from KY so she could babysit Rose while Chad and I went to the two weekends of training.  We were excited that things were falling into place.  We did the pile of paperwork, asked friends and family for references, submitted our background checks, etc.  In late summer our homestudy was complete.  Oh, and yes, we even had to have physicals and blood work done.  Then in late November we were finally certified for foster adoption.  That process took longer than we expected, but it wasn't bad.

Yay!  It was such a relief to finally be certified.   Now we started looking at the children available for adoption.  Looking at photos of these kids needing forever families.  Wondering if we were the family meant to be for them.  Looking at each individual child or sibling group and envisioning a new life together.

In December we were notified about a beautiful 3 year old that needed a family.  We were so excited.  We submitted our response to her needs.  We prayed for her, thought about her, imagined our family with her.  In January we met with her foster mom, case worker, and recruiter.  We were so nervous going to that meeting.  We didn't know what to expect.  We didn't do our training through the county and were not sure of how things were done in the county verses the state.  Even with the jitters, we thought it went well and eagerly waited to hear what the adoption placement committee decided.  (The people we met with don't decide adoption placement.  It is my understanding that a separate committee, the Heart Committee, are the ones that match each child with a family.)  Well, I took the news harder than I thought I would when I found out we were not selected to be her forever family.  I was crushed.  Even though I had not met this little girl, I had fallen in love with her.  I did have solace knowing that she was matched with a forever family and I trusted that is where God wanted her.  

Then a few weeks later, we attended a mixer where we could meet some kids in our county available for adoption.  Oh my goodness, it is one thing looking at a childs photo and reading their bio.  It is another to see them in real life.  They are just real kids.  Oh how my heart ached.  I wanted to take them all home with me.  But there was one girl that stood out to us.  We couldn't stop thinking about her or talking about her.  So we called her recruiter and asked for more information.  He set up a meeting for us to met with him, her case worker, and her foster parents.  We learned a lot more about her and her specific needs.  We left that meeting knowing we should adopt her.  This precious almost 8 year old girl needed a home and we knew we were that family.  We did it again, we fell in love with her.  But this time was different.  We had met her and interacted with her.  Rose played with her at the mixer.  We prayed for her daily (many times a day).  We talked about her.  We planned out how we thought we could meet her specific needs.  I had furniture picked out to make a nice bedroom.  I knew she needed to finish this year in public school, but started researching and planning our homeschooling with her for next school year.  I envisioned her life here with us. I thought about her all the time over the next few weeks.
I was so disappointed when I found the Heart committee didn't place her with us.  As a matter of fact they didn't place her with anyone.  She was not placed with a forever family.  They kept her in her foster placement.  Ugh...I have to admit.  I had a much harder time with this one.  I am still somewhat confused and most definitely heart broken.  I really had to go through the whole grieving process with the loss of this child that I never had: shock, pain, anger, depression, the upward turn, working through, and hope. Well, I am still working through it.
I didn't realize how emotional this really was.  I thought I was prepared.  I was not.
This is hard.
I guess some people can go through this process and not get emotionally attached with the children they try to adopt, but that just isn't me.  I don't think it is wrong to be tender hearted and loving.

Anyways, this is some of what has been going on.  I am going to stop typing now and go spend some time with my awesome husband and precious daughter.  I love them so much and I think we have a pretty spectacular life together!  I am thankful for my Heavenly Father that has lead us to this path.  I know He will continue to guide us along our journey.

Week 24 and Character Development

Here are some random photos from our week....

Rose doing school on a yoga ball with a surrounding of beloved stuffed animals.  

Playing...

Rose and Carissa's crafts from their playdate...

A big part of parenting is teaching Character Development to our children.  Over the years I have found some great resources to help us out in this important endeavor.  Here is a list of companies/resources I can highly recommend:

• Character First
• chart from the Duggars website 
• Doorposts.com
• The Learning Parent.com 

But I thought I would let you know about a new resource I found last summer 'We Choose Virtues'.  We have been using it this school year....and I think it is great.  

I like that it has a cute catch phrase and a back story with each virtue.  It has been easy to add to our days.  I appreciate the Bible verses that go with it as well.  This helps her understand the 'why' and not just the 'what'.  

I printed out the verses and laminated them with their mini posters.  I hung them in our stair way for reinforcement.  

An example from the set: the 'Self-Controlled' poster says "I am self-controlled"  "I make myself do the right thing."  "I am NOT wild, rowdy, or disorderly and I don't expect others to control me."  The verse is "But your sinful nature does not control you.  The Holy Spirit controls you.  The Spirit of God lives in you.  Romans 8:9"  

We have these posters in our school room...

I wasn't sure if I was going to use the '100 days of virtues' poster or not.  It came with set I purchased and I set it aside.  But when Rose saw it, she got so excited.  She has really enjoyed changing the caterpillars into butterflies.  It has been nice.  Whenever I notice Rose doing one of the virtues I can bring it to her attention and she can go put a butterfly sticker on a caterpillar as a reward.  It has been wonderful for reinforcing these positive actions and attitudes.

We keep the parenting Cards in the kitchen next to daddy's Bible reading materials.  Either before or after our Family Bible Time we take a couple minutes and go over one card.  It is on these cards that have the cute little stories (as well as the catch phrase and Bible verse).  I would say these cards are the base item of the curriculum. I could recommend them with ease to any parent that is interested.  What about you?  What are some good resources you have found?

Week 23 and the love of mud

In our week 23 of 3rd grade we are studying Asia, with a current focus on India.  We are learning about mountain ranges and the unique qualities of animals and plants that live there.  Rose enjoyed learning about Amy Carmichael and her mission work in India.  Rose is progressing with excellence in her 5th grade math.  I am probably most proud of how she is progressing in Language Arts.  I wanted Rose to love learning and have a love for reading (which she clearly has).  That was more important than reading on level or at an early age.  She has moved in leaps in bounds this school year in that area.  We still have far to go, but she is doing so well, and we didn't squelch that love for learning along the way.  I let her learn at her pace, pushing when needed, but more importantly backing off when needed.  Over the past few years I did have doubts, but I knew in my heart that this was the right way to guide her.  I was so excited that this year she progressed from level one/two language arts and is now doing excellently in grade 4 Language Arts.  Yes, that's right grade 4 (above level).  We started English 4 in January and we will continue with it in the fall and most likely start English 5 next January.  It really is a joy watching her learn.  

Since we are studying world geography, we are watching these adorable videos "The Little Travelers"  So far we have watched 'Iran' and 'Bali'.  They also have 'Japan', 'The British Isles', and 'Germany'.    (Right now they available for free on Amazon Instant Watch with a prime account.)

It follows two American girls as they live in various places.  It is super cute and educational.

 Chad and Rose working on the pit for the trampoline.

 The childrens museum had a Sid the Science kid movie premiere event.  We waited for Sid to walk the red carpet, met him, watched the movie, and did a related craft.

Living in the desert, we rarely get rain.  But it did rain this weekend.  So my little princess got to enjoy playing in the mud.  

I love this photo.

It represents so much to me.  It represents the fun a little girl had.  It represents there is a child in our home and the joys of childhood.  ...the small pleasures in life.  This season of cleaning up messes after a little one seems to be going by so fast.  I love it this season.  I cherish it.  I am thankful.

Week 22 and Snow tubing and a mini vacation

Monday was a holiday so we spent the day at Soda Springs in California.  They have some pretty fun snow tubing runs down the mountain.  

After a day of tubing we headed over to Sacramento, since we were already half way there.  We got to eat supper at Cick-fil-a (yay!) and shop at IKEA (also yay!).  Sacramento is closest to us for both of these places.

On Tuesday, Rose got to redeem her Book It Pizza Hut certificate for reading, as well as her Yogurt Beach gift card from her piano teacher.  We say yay to fun rewards!

We love the flexibility with homeschooling.  We were able to do a full week of school at our convenience and still take a mini mid-week vacation.  We went to Boomtown here in Reno.  This was our first time at this hotel.  

 They have a large kids gaming area.  Here Rose and Daddy are getting ready to ride the flight simulator.  Rose loved it.  Although, it made Chad nauseous for rest of the evening.

 Getting ready to enjoy our dinner.

The following day we spent more time in their Kids Fun Zone.

Yep, that was fun.  Then I spent the weekend cleaning and reorganizing closets with the fantastic finds from IKEA.  

Week 21 and a Jumping Valentine Party

We had a super fun Valentine week....or shall I say month.  Starting on Febuary 1st Rose woke up to a new heart on her bedroom door each morning.  The first day she had 2 hearts, one said "Rose, there are so many things that I LOVE about you...".  The second said "I love that you so freely help others."  Then, each morning she saw a new heart with a new message.  

She really enjoyed this!  It was nice to express my love for her in this way.  

I got the idea from somewhere on Pinterest or blogland but changed it from 'I love you, because...' to listing things I love about her.  It is a little change but an important one.  I don't love her "because" of these reasons....I just happen to love all things about her.  

We enjoyed many Valentine themed meals this week.  One was pizza with heart pepperonis...

On Valentine morning Rose woke to a note saying "look under the tv in the living room."  There, she found some small gifts.  hula hoops, purple tumbler, purple sock monkey, paddle ball, etc...

My flowers from Chad were beautiful.

Dessert on Valentine's Day was pudding.  We each had our own topping.  Rose chose frozen blueberries.  Chad had chocolate chips.  I picked Frozen strawberries and chocolate chips.  Yum.

The highlight of the week was Friday afternoon at a bouncy place, Pump It Up.  We joined 80 homeschool kids for a fun time jumping and exchanging Valentine Cards.  

 At home, Rose, sorting her Valentine loot...

On Saturday, daddy, mommy, and Rose went to the Discovery childrens museum.  We saw Captain Jack Sparerib's comedy show, did some crafts, and explored the museum.

Yes, we had a full week of school as well.  We learned more about the Middle East.  In one of our readings Rose was shocked to learn that it is illegal to be a Christian in Saudi Arabia.  We learned about endangered species and extinctions.  Rose is learning complex subjects and predicates and some basic sentence diagramming.  She can label all the countries in North, Central, and now South America with ease.  She is progressing nicely.

Hosting a Valentine's Banquet

The Sunday evening before Valentine's Day, we hosted our church's assembly and turned it into a Valentine banquet theme. 

Here are our decorations.  We had hearts, streamers, and various other Valentine themed things on the walls.  Some Valentine theme slides and music playing on the TV.  Pink cushions (that all were previously made by Rose, if you remember from Here and Here) on the couch.  Rose enjoyed putting Valentine window clings on the windows.  We had tissue paper flowers, which you know I love (as I talked about Here).

Rose really enjoys Valentines day so I tried to make it extra special.  Thanks to Pinterest we had some help. We made some gorgeous heart shaped cupcakes. (from These instructions, but used foil instead of a marble) 

To make our cheese and pepperoni tray I was able to use a cookie cutter for the cheese, but had to cut the pepperoni with a knife.

  Our heart themed salad was also fun.

We normally use red solo cups and write our names on them with sharpie markers.  But for the banquet I wanted something nicer.  So stem glasses were in order.  I wasn't sure how to mark whose was whose.  Then I remembered the window clings!  I put on a different small cling on each glass, now each glass is unique.

I used a silicone heart mold for making heart shaped ice.

 

Here is the dessert table after everyone arrived and added to it.  Yummy!

 We had 7 adults, 2 teens, and 2 children here.   It was so fun doing this!  It is nice to put forth some extra effort now and then to make something special.  I may have to do this type of thing more often.  Hmm...what's the next holiday coming up?