Just sharing some of my thoughts and feelings on our Foster Adoption experience so far.....
There is something else God has called our family to do and that is adoption. We all three knew it and it was time to act on it. So on January 2012 Chad and I went to our first meeting about it here in Washoe County, NV. The next step was the 27 hours of training. Here in Washoe County they were held on Tuesday and Thursday evenings over the course of, I think 5 weeks. We were told there was no alternative option. Well, this was a problem for us. As we were fairly new to Reno, there was no one we felt comfortable leaving Rose with twice a week for 5 weeks. It was a deal breaker for us at that time. Then our recruiter told us that we could do our training with the state foster care system instead of the county. The state did theirs in a two weekend period. Ah yes, that would work. So in March, my mom flew in from KY so she could babysit Rose while Chad and I went to the two weekends of training. We were excited that things were falling into place. We did the pile of paperwork, asked friends and family for references, submitted our background checks, etc. In late summer our homestudy was complete. Oh, and yes, we even had to have physicals and blood work done. Then in late November we were finally certified for foster adoption. That process took longer than we expected, but it wasn't bad.
Yay! It was such a relief to finally be certified. Now we started looking at the children available for adoption. Looking at photos of these kids needing forever families. Wondering if we were the family meant to be for them. Looking at each individual child or sibling group and envisioning a new life together.
In December we were notified about a beautiful 3 year old that needed a family. We were so excited. We submitted our response to her needs. We prayed for her, thought about her, imagined our family with her. In January we met with her foster mom, case worker, and recruiter. We were so nervous going to that meeting. We didn't know what to expect. We didn't do our training through the county and were not sure of how things were done in the county verses the state. Even with the jitters, we thought it went well and eagerly waited to hear what the adoption placement committee decided. (The people we met with don't decide adoption placement. It is my understanding that a separate committee, the Heart Committee, are the ones that match each child with a family.) Well, I took the news harder than I thought I would when I found out we were not selected to be her forever family. I was crushed. Even though I had not met this little girl, I had fallen in love with her. I did have solace knowing that she was matched with a forever family and I trusted that is where God wanted her.
Then a few weeks later, we attended a mixer where we could meet some kids in our county available for adoption. Oh my goodness, it is one thing looking at a childs photo and reading their bio. It is another to see them in real life. They are just real kids. Oh how my heart ached. I wanted to take them all home with me. But there was one girl that stood out to us. We couldn't stop thinking about her or talking about her. So we called her recruiter and asked for more information. He set up a meeting for us to met with him, her case worker, and her foster parents. We learned a lot more about her and her specific needs. We left that meeting knowing we should adopt her. This precious almost 8 year old girl needed a home and we knew we were that family. We did it again, we fell in love with her. But this time was different. We had met her and interacted with her. Rose played with her at the mixer. We prayed for her daily (many times a day). We talked about her. We planned out how we thought we could meet her specific needs. I had furniture picked out to make a nice bedroom. I knew she needed to finish this year in public school, but started researching and planning our homeschooling with her for next school year. I envisioned her life here with us. I thought about her all the time over the next few weeks.
I was so disappointed when I found the Heart committee didn't place her with us. As a matter of fact they didn't place her with anyone. She was not placed with a forever family. They kept her in her foster placement. Ugh...I have to admit. I had a much harder time with this one. I am still somewhat confused and most definitely heart broken. I really had to go through the whole grieving process with the loss of this child that I never had: shock, pain, anger, depression, the upward turn, working through, and hope. Well, I am still working through it.
I didn't realize how emotional this really was. I thought I was prepared. I was not.
This is hard.
I guess some people can go through this process and not get emotionally attached with the children they try to adopt, but that just isn't me. I don't think it is wrong to be tender hearted and loving.
Anyways, this is some of what has been going on. I am going to stop typing now and go spend some time with my awesome husband and precious daughter. I love them so much and I think we have a pretty spectacular life together! I am thankful for my Heavenly Father that has lead us to this path. I know He will continue to guide us along our journey.
I was so disappointed when I found the Heart committee didn't place her with us. As a matter of fact they didn't place her with anyone. She was not placed with a forever family. They kept her in her foster placement. Ugh...I have to admit. I had a much harder time with this one. I am still somewhat confused and most definitely heart broken. I really had to go through the whole grieving process with the loss of this child that I never had: shock, pain, anger, depression, the upward turn, working through, and hope. Well, I am still working through it.
I didn't realize how emotional this really was. I thought I was prepared. I was not.
This is hard.
I guess some people can go through this process and not get emotionally attached with the children they try to adopt, but that just isn't me. I don't think it is wrong to be tender hearted and loving.
Anyways, this is some of what has been going on. I am going to stop typing now and go spend some time with my awesome husband and precious daughter. I love them so much and I think we have a pretty spectacular life together! I am thankful for my Heavenly Father that has lead us to this path. I know He will continue to guide us along our journey.
